


Fall So Low

by possessedradios



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Episode 60: Terms and Conditions, Gen, Spoilers, Yet another wannabe character study in 2nd person POV, impressively short fanfics, this is my way of coping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-14 00:55:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12996321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/possessedradios/pseuds/possessedradios
Summary: You told Cutter you were not a coward, a wordless promise made in an elevator that took you both up and down.But, well. You've always been an excellent liar.





	Fall So Low

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thimbleoflight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thimbleoflight/gifts).



> Kepler: (doesn't react to Jacobi getting shot)  
> Me: Guess I'm gonna write a Thing and post it on tumblr.  
> Me: Guess I can post it on here too.
> 
> God. This podcast is killing me.
> 
> (Title is taken from "Nobody Wants You When You Are Down And Out" by Bobby Womack, which is on Kepler's spotify playlist.  
> Well, Colonel.)
> 
> (Also, gifted to thimbleoflight because highly inspired by something she said to me on discord. And because she lets me spam her with my freaked-out live reactions while listening.)

**1.**

They want Lovelace. They want Hera. They … ah. They want Jacobi.

They want you gone. That, too.

Which is. 

Well.

Clever. Sensible. They’re looking at some kind of big picture, now.

You’re almost proud. You’d be proud, if you ever actually belonged to these people. If there was some sort of shared identity that transcended 

_I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t wan–_

But there isn’t. And you don’t even share that, if you really think about it. A lot of these reckless, highly competent people have put their lives on the line. One of them even died, once. Even if just for a little while. You catch yourself smiling and stop, quickly, a little confused.

**2.**

Cutter shoots Jacobi.

It’s good that you’re on the Sol. Bleeding injuries are very, very messy in zero gravity.

**3.**

You don’t react. You don’t look away, and you don’t react. You want to clench your right fist, but it’s not actually _yours_ , and even if it was, you couldn’t. You don’t, you _can’t_ , you’re Colonel Warren Kepler, and you’re an important asset, you _can_ be, you _will_ be–

_I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die_

– you will prove yourself to Cutter.

**4.**

(Jacobi doesn’t look at you once while he’s walking to the others.)

**5.**

Rachel sounded so condescending when she told you to be careful with how you spoke about Hera. You sounded … impressed with her, you realized it yourself. Her dedication, her resistance. It’s something you can respect. It’s impressive. The way she tried to rebel against Pryce, to fight her tight grip. 

It must have taken a lot of courage. Hera must have been terrified. Her programming. Her emotions. Everything must have told her to step back, to not mess with this woman.

You can imagine.

And yet she did.

You can respect that, yes.

The fingers of your right hand prickle.

Of course they want Hera back.

You remember the day Cutter promoted you. The endless elevator ride. Cutter, pushing you to spit it out–

_Coward. He’s a coward, sir._

The wordless promise: _I’m not. I’m barely human, I’m a monster, but I’m not and never will be a cowar-_

Which is.

Well.

_Well …_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm @possessed-radios on tumblr, and my podcast sideblog is @shortwaveattentionspan. Let's pretend everyone will be alright and back on Earth together.


End file.
